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PODCAST DEEP-DIVE

Your Writing Is Boring

20 Figurative Language Techniques + 30 AI Copy Prompts + Pre-Publish Checklist

Flat copy loses sales quietly. Sharp copy closes them without a word of persuasion.

The gap between the two is 20 specific, named, teachable techniques, and knowing which one to reach for when a sentence goes flat, a hook lands dead, or an AI produces three paragraphs of polished nothing.

Your Writing Is Boring is the practical reference that names every technique, shows it working in a real example, and hands you 30 ready-to-use AI prompts so the whole system is in your hands today.

The 20 Figurative Language Techniques

Every technique is mapped to a specific copy job, the thing it actually does for a reader. Each one comes with a definition, the copy job it performs, when to use it, a caution where the technique has a failure mode, and a real working example.

• Antithesis - two specific, contrasting ideas placed side by side. Both sides must be detailed. A vague side collapses the technique. "Not a chatbot that writes your emails, an advanced team of agents who sell, organise and grow your business 24/7."
• Personification - your funnel closes sales quietly while you are doing something else entirely. Your subject line waves at someone from inside a crowded inbox. Give the inanimate a job title and readers feel it.
• Metaphor - no hedging with "like" or "as." "A funnel is a conveyor belt. Customers step on at one end and money comes out the other." One picture. Stays put.
• Epigram - the short, quotable line that makes the reader feel the writer has been sitting with this idea for years. "The best copy doesn't sell. It makes the reader sell themselves."
• Hyperbole - exaggeration so obvious it reads as emphasis, not deception. "I've rewritten this headline approximately four thousand times."
• Litotes - a double negative that sounds calm and certain. "It's not rocket science." "You won't be sorry." British understatement at its most commercially useful.
• Oxymoron - two words that contradict each other and make the reader stop. Deafening silence. Original copy. Clearly confused. The pause is the point.
• Paradox - a statement that seems to contradict itself and contains a deeper truth. "The less you try to sell, the more you sell." Creates authority without announcing it.
• Irony - the gap between what is expected and what is said. Produces dry wit and makes the reader feel sharp for catching it.
• Alliteration, Apostrophe, Circumlocution, Euphemism, Metonymy, Onomatopoeia, Pleonasm, Pun, Simile, Synecdoche and Understatement - all 20 techniques, each fully documented with a definition, copy job, usage guide and working example.

A Technique-to-Task Mapping Table acts as a standing reference. Tell it what the copy needs to do and it points to the techniques built for that job. Scroll stops: Alliteration, Antithesis, Oxymoron, Hyperbole. Breaking a false belief: Antithesis, Paradox, Irony. Dry British wit: Litotes, Irony, Understatement.

The 30 AI Copy Prompts

One for every copy job, with a selector table so you always know which to reach for

Knowing a technique by name is the theory. Having a prompt that applies it to your actual copy is the practice. The 30 prompts cover every copy task that comes up on a regular basis:

• Prompt 1 - The Plain Sentence Upgrade: paste in one flat sentence, receive 10 improved versions with an explanation of what changed and why
• Prompt 2 - The Social Hook Generator: 20 opening lines per topic across curiosity, contrast, metaphor, understatement, bold statement and story-led styles, each with a note on why it works
• Prompt 3 - The Email Subject Line Spark: 30 subject lines per topic, grouped by curiosity, education, sales, storytelling and re-engagement
• Prompt 6 - The Dry Humour Upgrade: takes any piece of copy and returns five versions: lightly witty, dry and understated, more conversational, sharper, warmer, using Litotes, Irony and Understatement correctly
• Prompt 10 - The Before and After Machine: shows the flat version alongside the improved version so the technique's effect is visible, not described
• Prompt 14 - The Personification Engine: gives systems, products and automations a human role so readers feel them rather than file them away
• Prompt 22 - The Copy Diagnostician: paste in any piece of copy, receive a frank assessment of what is weak and why, with specific fixes for each problem
• Prompt 26 - The Order Bump Writer: copy structured specifically for order bump pages, short, specific and built for the moment someone has just said yes to something else
• Prompt 28 - The AI Humaniser: the prompt to reach for when the output is technically correct but reads as though a committee of politely optimistic robots wrote it
• Prompt 30 - The Copy Toolkit Builder: turns any topic into a complete, structured, practical toolkit ready to use as a lead magnet, paid PDF, course download or product add-on

A Quick Reference Prompt Selector table maps every task to its prompt number. Subject lines: Prompt 3. Blog intro: Prompt 16. Sales bullets: Prompt 27. Order bump: Prompt 26. Humanise AI copy: Prompt 28. One row. The right prompt.

The Pre-Publish Copy Checklist

Ten questions to run through before any AI-generated copy goes live. Not a grammar check, a quality gate for the things that get missed when you are too close to the draft.

• Does it sound like something a real person would say?
• Has the AI added anything vague or unnecessary?
• Is there at least one vivid or memorable phrase?
• Would this sentence still make sense if read aloud?
• Has cleverness been kept on a short lead?

The full ten-question checklist is inside the toolkit.

Who It's For

• Business owners who write their own content and want every sentence to carry its weight
• Coaches and consultants whose expertise is sharp but whose copy does not yet reflect how sharp they are
• AI users who want outputs that read like a person who has thought carefully, not a content generator running at full speed
• Automation builders who want their AI assistants working from a structured technique framework, not a single vague style note in a system prompt
• Marketers who know their platforms and need the words to do more work once they land there

"A sentence with Antithesis creates tension. A line with Personification gives an idea a face. An Epigram gives a reader something to keep. The techniques are in here. The prompts are in here. The rest is yours to write."